Monday, April 21, 2014

NBCCCP Hires Psychologist To Fix David Gregory's "Meet the Press"

by JASmius

I believe it was the noted shrink Ron White who once said, "You can't fix stupid":

Embattled "Meet the Press" host David Gregory has vowed to fix the "problems" that have resulted in the troubled program slipping to third place among Sunday morning political news shows, according to the Washington Post.

Worried NBC executives have even commissioned a psychologist to interview Gregory’s friends and family in an effort to find a solution to the ratings crisis, the Post reported.

In the first quarter of the year, "Meet the Press" trailed "Face the Nation" on CBS, hosted by veteran 77-year-old Bob Schieffer, and "This Week with George Stephanopoulos" on ABC.

Ratings for the final three months of last year in the 25-54 age demographic, the most coveted by advertisers, plunged to its lowest level since TV’s longest-running program was launched in 1947.

There's not a pill you can take....There's not a class you can attend....Stupid is fo-evahhhh.

I take that back - maybe Gregory can go to a plastic surgeon and trade in his face and hair for that of Tim Russert's, since the latter isn't using them anymore:

Gregory’s three-year plunge in the ratings is a far cry from the heady days of his predecessor Tim Russert, who ruled the time slot for a decade until his death in 2008, often trouncing his rivals by a 40% margin.

"Do I want to be #1 in the ratings?" Gregory said in an interview with the Post. "Every week I want to be #1, and we fight like hell to get there. And it’s tough right now. It’s a fight.

....that, each and every week, he walks into unarmed.

But D-Greg shouldn't feel too bad about himself.  At least he's kicking Fox News Sunday's ass. though far more by dint of taking the "MS" out from in front of the "NBC".  And really, if the truth be told, David Gregory is much more suited to Rachel Maddow's brand of sexually confusing geek Bolshevism than he is genuine network news.  I mean, Tim Russert was a man; and, you know, had some modicum of journalistic credibility.  Bob Schieffer is an old man with a growing inventory of cobwebs lining his mental belfry, but nobody would mistake him for Pajama Androgyne's grandpa.  And George Stephanopoulos.... well, he has that pundit panel to hide behind, I guess.  But Greggy?  He looks like Phil Donahue's ventriloquist dummy every Sunday, for three million Americans with literally nothing better to do than to see.

Maybe they should disinter Russert's corpse and prop it up in the Press The Meat chair Weekend At Bernie's style instead.  Either that or switch Ed Schultz from angel dust to Quaaludes and give him a shot.  Anybody but a guy that also looks like Willie Gilligan fifty years later.

Exit question: Any reason why the network shrink put D-Greg's family and friends on the couch instead of him?  Is it in his contract that nothing can every be his fault?

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